Friday, January 14, 2011
Just waiting..
We are sitting in the hospital just waiting to hear from the doctor. A nurse called like 4 hours ago to tell them that they were finishing. I think that nurse really jumped the gun. They keep telling us that she is fine and they are just finishing closing her up and all. Everyone is pretty nervous, not so much because they think something bad has happened but just because it's the worst waiting game ever. I hope they come in soon just so we can know just how it all went.
Today.....
This week has been very busy. Nothing really happening until today but just lots of little errands and things to do. Today I am at the hospital during Scarlett's surgery. They took her down a while ago and now we are just waiting to hear from the doctors that they started. It's probably going to be a long day.
For those of you that don't know me well i am definitely not a morning person. I prefer to stay up really late and sleep in till noon. Wednesday I had to get up at 4 am to go to SFO then I went home after and slept again for a few hours. Today I got up at 6ish to come with my sister to the hospital. My sister and i joke because Chris and I are similar in that we feel we just need more sleep than the average person.
I am amazed everyday at how many people are supporting my sister, Chris, Scarlett and our whole family. So many people are praying for us all. It really shows us how many people out there care about our family. I think it is so sweet that people we don't even know are thinking about us and wearing red for Scarlett.
For those of you that don't know me well i am definitely not a morning person. I prefer to stay up really late and sleep in till noon. Wednesday I had to get up at 4 am to go to SFO then I went home after and slept again for a few hours. Today I got up at 6ish to come with my sister to the hospital. My sister and i joke because Chris and I are similar in that we feel we just need more sleep than the average person.
I am amazed everyday at how many people are supporting my sister, Chris, Scarlett and our whole family. So many people are praying for us all. It really shows us how many people out there care about our family. I think it is so sweet that people we don't even know are thinking about us and wearing red for Scarlett.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
PCOS
I have been living with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome probably forever. Of course i only knew about it when i was in High School and i saw my first endocrinologist. My mom and sister also have it. If you don't know what it is, it's basically cysts on the ovaries that cause many things in the body to go awry. It causes higher testosterone, insulin resistance, facial hair growth, weight gain and many other annoying problems. It can also cause you to have a hard time getting pregnant. Having PCOS seems to be more and more common these days. When my mom was first diagnosed they didn't know much about it and just gave her pills to make her have a period. My sister found a doctor that knew more about it and was put on Metformin. I also got my doctor to put me on Metformin when i had kaiser i had to force the doctor to do it and she didn't seem to know much about it. she was surprised when i asked about it because at that time i wasn't looking at getting pregnant and many doctors only give metformin to women trying to get pregnant. Then when i got PAMF i had a great endocrinologist that got me on the right amount to help me and gave me tons more information. I also got to see a nutritionist that had me doing a low carb diet which helped me a lot. For the first time in my life i was able to loose weight (which of course i gained all back with Zoey) and i had regular periods.
My mom was able to get pregnant with my sister and I naturally it took time but had no major complications, my sister got pregnant with Scarlett without really trying and I was able to get pregnant with Zoey the first month we were really trying. I feel like we have had good luck with trying to get pregnant and i hope it will be easy this next time around.
Today I got to visit Scarlett for a few moments before she went off to have her MRI. she was so peaceful just laying in her bed with her little oxygen mask on holding my fingers. I had dinner with my sister, Chris, mom, grandma and Mike at the hospital and then we had Tuckers Ice Cream that dad had brought us for dessert. Right before we left they had finished the MRI and she was coming out of it well. The doctors have said that her surgery will be on Friday now but we are hoping they will be able to move it up so they don't have to wait another week.
My mom was able to get pregnant with my sister and I naturally it took time but had no major complications, my sister got pregnant with Scarlett without really trying and I was able to get pregnant with Zoey the first month we were really trying. I feel like we have had good luck with trying to get pregnant and i hope it will be easy this next time around.
Today I got to visit Scarlett for a few moments before she went off to have her MRI. she was so peaceful just laying in her bed with her little oxygen mask on holding my fingers. I had dinner with my sister, Chris, mom, grandma and Mike at the hospital and then we had Tuckers Ice Cream that dad had brought us for dessert. Right before we left they had finished the MRI and she was coming out of it well. The doctors have said that her surgery will be on Friday now but we are hoping they will be able to move it up so they don't have to wait another week.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hoping For The Best
Last night at the hospital was very intense. The PICU waiting room is very small and was filled with people trying to spend time with their children. When my sister and Chris got the call that surgery was over they were so nervous. It was earlier than they expected which you never know if that is good or bad. There was about 45 min of waiting after the call before the doctor came in to talk to them. I could tell it was good news from the few words i could hear and the look on my sisters face. It was a relief to hear that things went well and that the doctor felt confident about the surgery. I saw Scarlett for a very brief second as they rolled her to her space in the PICU (it isn't really a room from what i am told it is more like a section of a large room with a curtain around it). Her face was very chubby from being swollen, her head was all wrapped up and she was still intubated.
Today i didn't make it to the hospital but i did get an update from my mom. She said that things are looking ok. They noticed Scarlett's left side isn't moving as much as the right and she had a CT scan today. She was also having very minor seizures which is normal and expected. I'm sure my sister will be updating about all of this but from what my mom said it seems everything is going well.
It is so hard to be at the hospital and know that everyone is there for a sick child. It's different at a regular hospital because people could be there for all kinds of things but at a children's hospital it just seems much more sad. I see how hard it is to be there for my sister and Chris and how uncomfortable it is and it makes me want to help everyone I can when i am there. Our family is so lucky to all live fairly close and be able to be there whenever we want or my sister needs us. The lady we talked to last night had just flown in from Tonga to see her grandchild who is 2 months old. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Maybe the next time I go i will take some cookies or something and put them in the waiting room for everyone.
Today i didn't make it to the hospital but i did get an update from my mom. She said that things are looking ok. They noticed Scarlett's left side isn't moving as much as the right and she had a CT scan today. She was also having very minor seizures which is normal and expected. I'm sure my sister will be updating about all of this but from what my mom said it seems everything is going well.
It is so hard to be at the hospital and know that everyone is there for a sick child. It's different at a regular hospital because people could be there for all kinds of things but at a children's hospital it just seems much more sad. I see how hard it is to be there for my sister and Chris and how uncomfortable it is and it makes me want to help everyone I can when i am there. Our family is so lucky to all live fairly close and be able to be there whenever we want or my sister needs us. The lady we talked to last night had just flown in from Tonga to see her grandchild who is 2 months old. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Maybe the next time I go i will take some cookies or something and put them in the waiting room for everyone.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Hospitals
So in my whole life i have only been to 5 different hospitals. i was born in kaiser redwood city, of course i don't really remember that visit. Until a few years ago i hadn't been in a hospital at all, then i had a surgery at Kaiser Fremont but i only stayed one night and it wasn't really a big deal. i had my own room and had a pretty good experience. In June i visited my grandma after her surgery in Kaiser redwood city again i was only there for a short amount of time but she had her own room and things seemed good for her. In September i was in Washington hospital for Zoey's delivery. I was there for a few days and had a pretty good experience. The nurses were overall really understanding and helpful. My one nurse had lost a child many years prior so she knew what i was going through and helped us out a lot. While i was there and while my sister was there for Scarlett's delivery we had our own rooms and felt we had a good experience.
When Scarlett was first diagnosed she was at Stanford Children's hospital. This was like the Cadillac of hospitals. The staff was great to work with and the facility was very family oriented. There were many places for people to sit and sleep while their little ones were in the hospital. Scarlett had her own room with bathroom that we could all use. Now we are at Oakland Children's Hospital it is defiantly a different type of hospital. It feels much more like a regular hospital. the walls are less decorated and there are very few and little places for family to be. It seems like a hospital for children would make it possible for parents to stay with their children. Kids that are here tend to be so sick that what parent wants to leave their child alone.
Having been to all these hospitals helps me a little. I know if i have a problem with my next pregnancy i defiantly want to go to Stanford. I won't care how much more it will cost it is worth it. With the way our health insurance is it is hard to not think about cost. I don't want to base my decisions on cost but i can't help it. When i was delivering Zoey and needed an epidural in my pain and stress i kept thinking this is so expensive but worth it. I fought getting the epidural partially because of fear but also because of cost. Why does our health care system have to be like this. I think it is a major problem i wish i could change but know i have no control over.
We have had a couple updates from Scarlett's surgeons and so far everything is going well. it is just a long waiting game from now on. So many people have been showing their support and it means a lot to our whole family. I feel like together my sister and my story can help so many other people. I was telling Mike this morning that this whole experience feels like something that Oprah would do a show or story about on her show.
When Scarlett was first diagnosed she was at Stanford Children's hospital. This was like the Cadillac of hospitals. The staff was great to work with and the facility was very family oriented. There were many places for people to sit and sleep while their little ones were in the hospital. Scarlett had her own room with bathroom that we could all use. Now we are at Oakland Children's Hospital it is defiantly a different type of hospital. It feels much more like a regular hospital. the walls are less decorated and there are very few and little places for family to be. It seems like a hospital for children would make it possible for parents to stay with their children. Kids that are here tend to be so sick that what parent wants to leave their child alone.
Having been to all these hospitals helps me a little. I know if i have a problem with my next pregnancy i defiantly want to go to Stanford. I won't care how much more it will cost it is worth it. With the way our health insurance is it is hard to not think about cost. I don't want to base my decisions on cost but i can't help it. When i was delivering Zoey and needed an epidural in my pain and stress i kept thinking this is so expensive but worth it. I fought getting the epidural partially because of fear but also because of cost. Why does our health care system have to be like this. I think it is a major problem i wish i could change but know i have no control over.
We have had a couple updates from Scarlett's surgeons and so far everything is going well. it is just a long waiting game from now on. So many people have been showing their support and it means a lot to our whole family. I feel like together my sister and my story can help so many other people. I was telling Mike this morning that this whole experience feels like something that Oprah would do a show or story about on her show.
Scarlett's Surgery
I talked to my mom today who is at the hospital. She said that they took Scarlett in to surgery around 8:30 this morning. So far things are going good. They are waiting to get an update from the surgical team. They are supposed to get updates every few hours about how everything is going. Hopefully they will get it soon.
I can't imagine what it must feel like for my sister and chris to have to just wait around today. My mom said they are in the waiting room with a bunch of parents with really sick kids. Having been at the hospitals and seeing all the sick kids make me think alot about Zoey. If she had been born just a couple weeks later they could have tried to save her. This would have meant that she would be one of those sick kids and we would be the parents living at the hospital and trying to spend every moment with her we could. Part of me is glad we didn't have to go through all of that. As hard as it was to loose her I feel like it would have been even harder to see her struggle to survive and then possibly still not survive. For all those parents out there in this situation my heart goes out to you and your families.
I can't imagine what it must feel like for my sister and chris to have to just wait around today. My mom said they are in the waiting room with a bunch of parents with really sick kids. Having been at the hospitals and seeing all the sick kids make me think alot about Zoey. If she had been born just a couple weeks later they could have tried to save her. This would have meant that she would be one of those sick kids and we would be the parents living at the hospital and trying to spend every moment with her we could. Part of me is glad we didn't have to go through all of that. As hard as it was to loose her I feel like it would have been even harder to see her struggle to survive and then possibly still not survive. For all those parents out there in this situation my heart goes out to you and your families.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The New Year
Our new years was pretty fun.I spent a few hours baking cookies and cupcakes and i made a butternut squash soup with my new immersion blender. Then We hung out with our friends kelly and julio, their daughter Lily who is 11 months old and kellys brother and friends. it was a pretty chill night. we just went out to dinner then went to kelly's brothers house and hung out and watched the boys light off fireworks. It was nice to bring in the new year with new and old friends.
My hopes for 2011 are pretty big. I hope to get pregnant and have a healthy baby, I hope my niece Scarlett gets through surgery Wednesday and gets better soon, I hope Mike gets a new better job that he likes even more, I hope my family and friends all stay healthy and don't have to feel as much pain as 2010 brought us. Our perinatologist put it best "we are staying cautiously optimistic".
I feel like it is easier to expect the worst and hope for the best. When it comes to getting pregnant i know it might take us a while and i realize that something could go wrong again. I feel like if i prepare myself for this then it won''t be as hard to deal with if it does happen. I do look forward to being pregnant again and all things that you get to experience when having a baby but i feel like if i am expecting it to be hard and possibly end in a loss again, i will be better prepared. I also think it keeps me less stressed out about trying again if i remind myself that i have no control over when I get pregnant. It is in Gods hands and i have to trust that it will happen when we are ready.
My hopes for 2011 are pretty big. I hope to get pregnant and have a healthy baby, I hope my niece Scarlett gets through surgery Wednesday and gets better soon, I hope Mike gets a new better job that he likes even more, I hope my family and friends all stay healthy and don't have to feel as much pain as 2010 brought us. Our perinatologist put it best "we are staying cautiously optimistic".
I feel like it is easier to expect the worst and hope for the best. When it comes to getting pregnant i know it might take us a while and i realize that something could go wrong again. I feel like if i prepare myself for this then it won''t be as hard to deal with if it does happen. I do look forward to being pregnant again and all things that you get to experience when having a baby but i feel like if i am expecting it to be hard and possibly end in a loss again, i will be better prepared. I also think it keeps me less stressed out about trying again if i remind myself that i have no control over when I get pregnant. It is in Gods hands and i have to trust that it will happen when we are ready.
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