Friday, August 29, 2014

Our next step

It's amazing how life can get in the way of a simple thing like typing up a blog post.

On Caleb's 2nd birthday Mike and I decided we wanted to start trying to have a second child. We have always wanted two kids. With Zoey and with Caleb I got pregnant within the first month or two of trying. This time around it hasn't been so easy.

When I met with my neologist for the first time last year we decided to wait to take any MS drugs because I knew I was going to be trying to get pregnant soon. My Dr agreed but told me she wanted me to get pregnant as soon as I could. This was very stressful for me. The longer it was taking the more stress I was feeling about it. The reason my neologist was pushing me to get pregnant quick is because a woman is protected from MS flair ups during pregnancy.

I started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist and found out I wasn't ovulating. The Dr had me take Provera to help force a period and then once it did I started taking Clomid. The first round of clomid didn't work. It is supposed to block estrogen receptors to make the body produce a growing follicle. After an ultrasound to find out it wasn't working we started again with provera and then increased the dose of clomid. This time it worked and created a good follicle. My Dr did an ultrasound to see if it was working and to see how many follicles were maturing. Because of the number of follicles and the timing I had to give myself a shot of Ovidrel to force ovulation.

Each cycle I have to call the Dr on day 1 of my period. Then by day 3 I had to have an ultrasound called a Baseline to check where I was at. On day 3 I start taking clomid until day 7.  On day 10 I start taking daily at home ovulation tests. Then on day 13-14, I have another ultrasound to see if the clomid was working. Having to keep track like this really makes me feel in tune with my body but also feels weird to report to the Dr about every little thing that is happening.

It is nice to know that it is finally working and we got all the medications and process figured out. I feel so much less stressed now.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Medical student

Today I am seeing my neurologist to talk about my pain in my legs and medication options. Before the Dr came in I had the pleasure of having a medical student talk to me and do my exam. Being at Stanford I am pretty used to this and have come to really appreciate it. The medical students and residents are always very nice and have the time to give a bit longer explanations of things. They also are learning so they do things a bit slower, more in depth and explain what they are doing more. I enjoy knowing that what I'm going through might help this student to be a better dr. My BIL is in medical school and I would want his patients to give him the time and opportunity to learn like I do. 

I'm writing this while waiting for the dr to come in to talk. Since it was a last minute add appt I have had to wait longer than normal. For some reason today more than others I felt very nervous and anxious about my appt. I guess the fear that the dr could tell me that the way my legs feel is my new normal or just the idea of having something else wrong and needing more meds that could make it so we can't get pregnant for longer. In the end I think my biggest fear right now is ending up in a wheelchair and not being able to take care of myself or Caleb. I know I'm not there yet or really close but it's a hard thought to shake. 

Friday, July 18, 2014

Infusions

Today is day three of three for a steroid infusion of Solumedrol. I had noticed on saturday last week that I had some numbness in my right leg. I didn't think much of it because it was mostly sensitivity to temperature. Then by Sunday night I figured out it was another flair up. Same feelings as the last time. I talked to my Neurologist and after she looked at my MRI results and saw a new lesion on the right side of my brain she suggested an infusion. This will hopefully help the one in my brain from remaining active and for the numbness in my leg to go away.

During my initial diagnosis last year we decided to wait to start any of the disease modifying drugs until after we got pregnant and had another baby. We knew we wanted to start trying soon so it wasn't a problem. Well now that it has been a year and 8 mo of trying with out any luck I am looking at starting the one drug they say is safe while trying to get pregnant. Once I get pregnant I won't need to take the drugs because women are protected during pregnancy from MS flair ups.

The Drug we are looking at and I will be talking to my Dr about next week is called Copaxone. It is an every other day injection that I will have to learn to give myself. It will definitely be something to get used to but its better than having more and more lesions and flair ups.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I'm Back Again

It has been around 2 1/2 years since I last posted anything and so many thing have happened. Caleb will be 3 in Nov and will hopefully be starting preschool in september. He is so smart, funny, loving and very testing of my patience. He loves to be naked which I think was a huge help in him getting potty trained around his 2nd birthday. He is very healthy and weighs in at about 36lbs right now. He is a great eater and likes lots of different types of food. his favorites right now are tofu, caesar salad, sushi, chipotle and veggie sandwiches from subway.

Since my last post Mike and I have had some major changes. We decided to add 400 sq ft to the back of our house with a master bathroom, a laundry room and an office. We are still in the process of finishing the project. Mike's job changed so we now have better benefits and things and the ship he has been on for a while is on the west coast which is nice. We are also looking to grow our family soon with another baby (I'll post more about all of that later).
The biggest thing I am dealing with right now is my newly diagnosed Multiple Sclerosis. In July of 2013 I was diagnosed with MS after many MRI's and various tests. So far other than some slight memory, processing and balance issues I am the same as I always have been. Many people in my life know I was diagnosed but not everyone because until now I haven't really talked about it openly to the world. I didn't post it on Facebook or anything because I didn't want people to feel bad for me or say the wrong things while I was still processing what this means for my future. I hope talking about it now helps others and helps me to find more people who are dealing with this disease. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Photos


 These pictures were taken when Caleb was 3 weeks old. the first four were taken during a photo shoot with Jessica Quintal. The last four were taken by my sister. I was going to write more but Caleb is crying and would like if I fed him. He is a very predictable every 2 hour eater during the day. I will try to post again soon.




His Thanksgiving day outfit. The front of his shirt said Gobble gobble gobble.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Quick note

Just a quick post to tell everyone about the baby gizmo giveaway of a bugaboo donkey stroller. Check it out www.babygizmo.com.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Emotions

Since the last few weeks of my pregnancy I have been very emotional. Since I delivered it has only gotten worse. I cry over any and everything. Recovery overall hasn't been easy by any means.

For me the whole C-section experience comes with a lot of disappointment and sadness. I had looked forward to giving birth. I wanted to see Mike cut the umbilical cord and get to have Caleb lay on my chest when we was first born. There were so many things I looked forward to.

When I gave birth to Zoey it was not a happy time. Mike wasn't there, nobody cut her cord (well the Dr. did I think), the Dr wasn't excited, I got to hold her but I was surrounded by sad faces and crying not happy excited people. I had looked forward to delivering her as well and felt like that experience was taken from me. I had hoped that this time around it would be different and I would get to experience all the things I had hoped for.
I was there when my sister delivered, when my friend Tara delivered, and I was there during labor and shortly after delivery for two other friends all who had normal vaginal deliveries. I knew what it could be like.

When I was told I was having a C-section I was once again surrounded by worried faces. After he was born I didn't get to hold him, I barely got to see him, Mike didn't get to cut the cord, our family and friends didn't get to celebrate with us after he was born. Since I was having such problems I didn't get to hold him until the next day. The Dr. waited so long to decide to give me a C-section that by the time he was born our friends and family all had to leave so they could only see him through the window in the nursery while they washed him and did various things. ( I was in surgery still so I;m not sure what all they did). I don't have pictures of all our family holding him that day and because of the stress in the hospital i don't have pictures of my family holding him at all.

I know having a C-section was the best thing for him and me. If I had delivered him vaginally he might not have made it because the Dr found his umbilical cord around his neck twice. I remind myself that having a healthy baby was the most important thing how it happened was not. As much as I know this it is still hard sometimes. 

I started this post about 2 weeks ago now so everything above this was written earlier. In the last couple weeks I have been able to come to terms more with my feelings on how his delivery went. I am still disappointed about all the things I mentioned above and it is still hard to watch those baby shows where women give birth and everything goes perfect. But some words of wisdom from another mom who had C-sections helped me alot. She told me that "normal is different for everyone. They make giving birth sound like everyone has a great vaginal birth but not everyone does. Having had a C-section was my normal". This seemed obvious but hearing someone else who had been through it tell me that helped. I hope if we have another baby (which at this point both mike and I are at the hell no we aren't having any more stage but everyone swears that passes) I can have a vaginal birth but I know now what to be prepared for if I don't.