Saturday, January 29, 2011

Why me?

It seems like constantly i see people with children that I just don't feel like should have children. Either they don't take care of their children or they treat them badly i don't understand how a parent can be like that to their child. It makes me wonder why those people were even given the privilege of having a child when i was robbed of it. It seems like many of the people i have met who have lost a baby are people who are good parents and who want a baby. It kills me to see people who don't love and appreciate their children. I know that when we are finally blessed with an earth baby i will be so happy and i will be able to appreciate what a special gift it is.

Feb 2nd was Zoey's due date. As the date gets closer I have mixed feelings on it. I may feel different on the actual day but so far i feel ok about it. I see a baby's due date as just a educated guess from a doctor of when your baby will be born. So for me I don't feel the attachment to the date as i thought i would in the beginning. I feel like we are doing good with everything and that the only time i really get sad anymore is when I think about where our lives would have been right now. Instead of trying to lose weight and get pregnant we would be getting ready for zoey's birth. Looking back to a year ago when we started talking about getting pregnant we would have never guessed the year would turn out the way it did. I just hope that the next year is better than the last.


  1. Hang in there, honey. I have been thinking about you all day. Be strong and stay at peace. Call or come by if you want to talk. I am home today. Love mom.

  2. Just a mommy from the BBC Oct birth board. I have been supporting your sister and her precious family through all of this and doing all I can to help. Yet I wanted to stop by your board and tell you that you, your husband, and baby zoey are in my thoughts today, Feb 2nd. You are forever carrying your sweet precious angel on your shoulder wherever you go. You will one blessed with that earth baby you dream of. Never give up hope. May you feel your babygirls hand wrapped around your finger today...and forever.